Social Anxiety Forums

Anonymous · Posted: Tue November 21, 2006 Post subject: JOKES!

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
\"Please wake me at 5:00 AM \" He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, \"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.\"
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, \"Relatives of yours?\"
\"Yep,\" the wife replied , \"in-laws

WOMEN'S REVENGE
\"Cash, check or charge?\" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
\"So, do you always carry your TV remote?\" I asked.
\"No,\" she replied, \" but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.\"

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, \"The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, \"What?\"

CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, \"I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
\" The wife responded, \"Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, \"You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.\"
The husband said, \" You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.\"
Wife replies, \"No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.\"
Husband replies, \"I can't believe that, show me.\"
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........\"HEBREWS\"

Josh · Posted: Tue November 21, 2006 Post subject:

Did u copy that from a forumer forum. You scared me because I thought that my forum had the quote bug too.

Testing
"
"
"

Anonymous · Posted: Tue November 21, 2006 Post subject:

i copied from here : http://boxanything.7.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=4

Hobo · Posted: Wed November 22, 2006 Post subject:

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.He says to her,"Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?".

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away.He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?".So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again."Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."

Anonymous · Posted: Wed November 22, 2006 Post subject:

Anonymous · Posted: Sun December 03, 2006 Post subject:

Lol... What the? I love a good grotty joke.

Anonymous · Posted: Thu December 07, 2006 Post subject:

...lol that's bad. Here are a few good ones I got from ebaum's world... I think.

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

xDDD

This one... is bad.

A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner."This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.

"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

xDD But funny.

All right... one more:

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"

xD Lol hope you enjoyed those ones.

Hobo · Posted: Fri December 08, 2006 Post subject:

Anonymous · Posted: Wed January 10, 2007 Post subject:

Yeah, they were very funny! Laughing

Anonymous · Posted: Thu January 11, 2007 Post subject:

Rofl...nice, you got anymore?

Anonymous · Posted: Thu January 11, 2007 Post subject:

Haha some nice ones =D Especially the one Hobo and Malicious Zephyr posted =)