Social Anxiety Forums

Crashmodem · Anonymous

Well the subject of this message sums it up perfectly

I work in a high stress filled job, when i get home i am dead tired, i am depressed very badly, i live on my own, i have no friends or family nearby, nor can i talk to my family about my issues, because they have problems of their own.

I hate socal situations, i hate the whole idea of going out in social environments, because i have always been left out and insulted when i was in groups of people. I anm 22 years old, and haven't so much as held hands with a girl little lone been in a relationship with one.

I can't afford going to college, i am way beyond hope of ever enjoying life again. I just feel that i need to die... except for my family. that is the only thing that is keeping me alive.

Flax · Anonymous

Yeah social phobia f*ing sucks. It seeming to be a common thing for us to never have been a relationship. I also notice people seem to talk about that a lot because that's one of the most painful things. I wish I could say that a girl out their loves me, but I'm wrong and I'd be wrong if I said I have been in love.
The only thing I seem to be able to do to fight off SP is to suffer with it for a while then one day out of anger do something drastic to break free. That's how I got my first job, that's how I started hanging out with people outside of school, that's gonna be how I go to college (if I ever do). Sometimes you need to get angry and shut off your brain with a goal in mind like going to a party that ordinarily you would avoid. It's incredibly hard to do, but just forcing yourself in scary situations can be very theraputic. I wish I had that drive to push forward more often who knows I could be a millionaire if I always had that drive that I for the most part never have. Is it just me or does anyone else get all these ideas like I'm going to do this and this and this and I'm going to fix all this sh** while your up late at night? I always do that and when I wake up all that energy and frustration and desire for change just gets wiped away.

Neddy · Anonymous

Crashmodem, don't give up so easily, life will and can get better, it all depends on how much you really want to overcome your social anxiety. It took me 23 years to come crashing down and ended up in a crumpled heap, all I wanted was to die but that feel that only selfish people commit suicide, your pain and suffering may be over but look what it does to the people you leave behind, it destroys them, I have seen it first hand.

Like flax said give social situations a go (a big challenge for me as well), my excuse used to always be I'm not going there, I don't know them, they don't want me there, I don't know what to say and feel like a loser but that is mainly low self esteem on your part, how do you know what the other people are thinking unless they come out and say something, if they do at least you know what they are thinking.

I used to also work in a stressful job, I live in isolation, have got no friends, my closet family member is over 3000 kms away so I can't really talk to them as well, what I found useful was writting in a diary, I used to write about everything, the way I was feeling you name it, it used to help but it is not the same as having someone to talk to. I came close a couple of times to ringing up lifeline just to talk to someone but I was even too shy too do that.

Don't worry too much about not having a girlfriend. The day will come when you will meet someone. I am several years older (wont say my age), I'm a female and have a similar problem, have never been out on a date with a male. Someone asked me out once and boy was I nervous, I run a mile, to this day I regret it as I often wondered what would have happened then the negative thinking kicked in and I put myself down they wouldn't want to know me as I am too quiet and nervous around people. The only way you are going to meet people is if you get out of your flat, you need to break out of your comfort zone, find some interests and learn to like yourself abit more. You can't expect people to like you if you don't like yourself. You need to treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Take little small steps and be proud of your achievements even if they are only small, sooner or later it will make you determined to take bigger steps.

George · Anonymous

Don't worry too much about it