Social Anxiety Forums

Martini Girl · Anonymous

I am seventeen and I have actually been at this new sixth form college since September. I have been a shy person for quite a long time but i'm finding it more of a struggle than ever now because i've moved from the safety net of my old, tiny school. College is big and i find some people down-right rude and scary. There are some nice people but i really struggle to make friends because i always assume that no-one will like me or think i'm rude because i lack confidence, anyone feel the same? It's now February and you'd[/i] think I'd have made some quite good friends by now. I'm so desperately lonely but i
feel it's too late as all the friendships seem to have been formed.

Julie · Anonymous

Hey. Im 18 and started in September at UCSC. Ever since I started my shyness/social anxiety has become quite apparent. I havent made friends and feel like im always putting up a front when Im around alot of people. Its so big I feel like Im swimming in a sea of strangers. It just isnt fun.
Julie

Karma · Terrified Newbie Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 4

Hello: I'm a newbie to this formum. Very old 48. I've never been to college and guess what, I wouldn't have had the courage to even go. So bravo to you. Hold your chin up. Some will think you are just a snob, try not to worry. Maybe find a group activity that you can fit into. Isn't that the way its done. Anyway, I'm not sure I can help, since I'm falling apart this week too. But over the years, I've busied myself with yoga, spiritually uplifting stories. Somehow, I've made it this long.

Hang in there.

Karma

santaclaragirl · Terrified Newbie Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 1

You know what, Julie? You are absolutely not alone. This is the first time that i have been to this message board because I have been thinking a lot about when I first started to get panic attacks. Luckily, I haven't had one in several years because of medication. But this is what is really cool- I started college in September also, and I go to Santa Clara. We're not that far away at all! I just want you to know that there are so many resources for you- people to talk to, counselors, doctors, anybody to listen. And I guarantee, without ever having met you or talked to you, that there is at least one person who cares about you so much that they will not let you go through this alone. I promise.

CLONES · Anxious Poster Joined: 17 Sep 2007 Posts: 16

attend college workshops that interest you and meet new people, and every class you have you have a new start of making new friends you just got to open up, is hrd i know

x0xchristine0x · Terrified Newbie Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 4

I started college last September. After that, my symptoms started to pop up almost instantly. I can't make friends... I'm too shy to approach anyone. When I'm called on in class, I turn red, stop breathing, and freak out. I'm always afraid of what people are going to think of me. I try to take classes with one of my friends whom I met previous to college. She understands and helps me out when I'm feeling anxious. I can't make public presentations and I have been dreading speech class. Last semester I withdrew from all but two of my classes and lost all of my financial aid because of it. I'm not sure what to do.

livingnsilence · Anxious Poster Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Posts: 19

I don't know if you have sororities at your college or not but i suggest if you do to try out for them. I'm not going to lie to you, rush is going to be one of the most stressfull times of your life, but it will be worth it. With SA you probably won't get real close to any of the girls but you will at least have people to hang out with on the weekends and to sort of turn to when you need help. Me being in a sorority is one of 2 things keeping me going right now.

Midgey5.0 · Terrified Newbie Joined: 15 Feb 2008 Posts: 1

Oh wow. I'm so glad i found this post, im half way through my first year of college and am beyond miserable here. I thought i was the only one unable to meet people once in college. I've even been thinking of leaving schol for a while until i cant stand meeting people cause its just depressing sitting in the dorms all alone. I can introduce myself to a person and comment on a lecture awkwardly but when it comes to having a real conversation or showing myself i freeze and end up avoiding that person.

Sa10 · Terrified Newbie Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 3

College is overrated. Even if you didn't have anxiety issues, most people you meet only want to drink, have intercourse, and horse around all day long. Who cares? Aren't there any bigger matters in life?

Angie · Posted: Fri August 08, 2008 Post subject:

This really wasn't the appropriate thread to stumble onto. I just registered for a college class today. I'm only doing one to see if I like it or not. I bought my book, got my parking pass, paid the down payment. I'm all prepared in that sense. I'm excited, but I'm also freaking out. I've only got about three weeks until my class will start.

I keep thinking back to how high school was, and I hated it. I hated it so much I had to drop out, and do online classes. I really want to go to a normal college. I hope I can survive this class, and I really hope that I like it. Are there any people in college without horror stories? It can't be that bad, right? Sad

livingnsilence · Anxious Poster Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Posts: 19

If you ask me college can be easier for those with SA because you don't have to meet friends and know people at college and most people will think you aren't that close to people there because you are probably a comuter and have friends at home even if you don't. However, you should use college to really push the bonderies when it comes to SA. My first year I went to a college 3 hours from home where I knew no one, I shared a room with a complete stranger, rushed and joined a sorority and met tons of people through the sorority, and actually had a few people I considered friends my first year. Unfortunately though, dispite all this I my SA still worsened because I don't respond to exposure, but you might. Don't let SA ruin your life more than it has already, go to college and get a decent paying job doing something you like.

Angie · Posted: Tue August 19, 2008 Post subject:

I like your thinking. It's definitely helped me with some of my stress so thank you! I've still got one week to go before I start, but I'm much calmer than I was before. I just really want to learn so it's pushing me to go.

I've gotten to the point where I'm actually almost excited to go. I've been looking at other classes I'd want to take, checking out the entire campus (whereas I'd only found the one building I needed to know for my current class).

Hopefully I can prove the author of this thread wrong!

adobbs · Anxious Poster Joined: 30 Jun 2008 Posts: 32

Friendships have a way of finding you naturally, especially when we try our best to naturally fit in.

Angie · Posted: Thu August 28, 2008 Post subject:

Well, my first class was yesterday. I was more nervous than I thought I'd be to the point that I had tremors when we had to make introductions to the class. (I wasn't expecting that though I suppose I should have.)

I think I should be all right from here on out though. The first day is always the hardest, but now I mostly know my way around, and I'll be able to spot familiar faces. I should be fine.

I hope everyone else who's starting college for the first time has a good first week, and it all goes smoothly from then on. Smile

_________________
"Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Angie · Posted: Thu October 02, 2008 Post subject:

UPDATE

I now fully believe that it's possible to go the college, and actually enjoy it, and maybe even make friends. I never though it'd turn out like this, but I really enjoy it now, and I even occasionally talk to some of my classmates. A major triumph!

Happy studying!