Social Anxiety Forums

Norly · Posted: Fri June 22, 2007 Post subject: Allow myself to indtroduce....myself....

Hi guys and gals.

I'm from south east england, East Sussex in particular. I've only recently heard the term SAD while researching psychiatry on soneone else's behalf. I haven't seen a proffessional about it (yet, if I ever get the bottle) but it really explains a lot about me. I always assumed I was just naturally shy and awkward but I couldn't understand why I find social situations distressing to the point of sacrificing my education and, hopefully not completely, my career.

I did well at school, got great results in my GCSE's and then when it came to A-levels, things took a down turn. You can skip 10% of your lessons where I was without being disciplined. Given the opportunity to skip calsses, especially ones in which I had no old shool friends, I skived as much as possible. Though I worked hard in the classes I did attend, my grades reflected my absenteeism. I did well enough to get into Durham University where I spent one thoroughly miserable term studying Biomedical Sciences. Every time I had to leave my room, I'd feel nervous and sick and have to wear a big coat to hide myself, which I'm sure made me look a bit conspicuous lol. I went grocery shopping at night, i have a real problem with eating and buying food in front of people.

I've had jobs on and off, all of which apart from one I have got by having contacts there/working for family and friends (cunningly avoiding interviews Razz

). The one interview I did attend was for a call centre job that I was forced to accpet to keep the wolves from the door. I got through the door due to copious amounts of Rescue Remedy, which I recommend for 'imminent danger' type anxiety. I don't find it really helps with the les acute 'general' anxiety. I lasted five months, somehow. I honestly don't remember all that much of it. I didn't sleep or eat very much that wasn't comfort food. I didn't break for drinks so I could use my 'comfort breaks' to hide in the ladies and get my breath back/sob. Being shouted at is pretty much my all-time worst fear and a lot of customers love to shout, some even make personal comments despite having never met you. If you ever get a choice between wolves or call centre job, choose wolves Razz

.

I was accepted at The University of Kent to study Biology. I didn't make it past the induction day. I feel too terrified and sick to go to the lectures and ended up dropping out by emailing my tutor. Since then I've been doing the same job as my mother. It's data entry, which is dull as all hell and has no carrer prospects but I count myself lucky that I have a situation in which I feel comfortable enough to work, I know many of you don't have that luxury.

I'm hoping to move to Folkestone to live with my very sweet and supportive (lucky me Embarassed

) bf but there are many things, especially anxiety barring my path. He has offered to go to a doctor with me, but I honestly don't know how that would go. He's the only one I have trusted enough to be honest about this with (apart from you lovely people of course Smile

). My parents think laziness is the reason for my failuers and I can't explain this to them. My family is adept at hiding their feelings from each other and I've always been shown that emotions are something to be embarassed about. apart from which I can't even be sure that I have SAD without seeing a doctor, which I'm afraid to do because it involves seeing somebody with the intent of being scrutinised and that, while I naturally don't want to have SAD, I'm more afraid that I don't.

Wow, sorry that kind of went on and on......and on. That's basically a 'highlights' of the last few years.

For those who made it through my ramblings, does this sound like SAD to you?

Josh · Posted: Fri June 22, 2007 Post subject:

Welcome to the forums Norly.

Perhaps you have just a mild case, or even just plain shyness. It really doesn't matter either way. This forum is a place where you can vent yourself without being judged.
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