Social Anxiety Forums

shinyjem · Posted: Tue July 10, 2007 Post subject: hey, i'm jem

my name's jemma, i'm 16 and im from australia (melbourne). im not really sure whether i have SA, but i do know that i'm pretty shy. i have quite a few friends at school (i'm in year 11), and a couple of them are close friends who i'm really comfortable around. i get shy around everyone apart from my close friends and family.

the reason i think i have SA, at least mildly, is that i get so nervous in social situations that i often feel physically sick. often i think up excuses to get out of going to a party, because i hate feeling awkward. it gets so bad that most days i even feel nervous and sick before going to school every day, and i don't know why. i hate it.

i'm fine making conversation with the people i'm comfortable with, but even some of my not-so-close friends at school are hard to talk to. i find myself scrambling in my head for things to say, but end up sitting there with nothing to talk about. i think i make people feel really awkward when they're with me, and if they try and make conversation i find it hard to answer with something that is longer than 'yes' or 'no'

i hate being labelled as quiet- which i am called alot- my friends all say so. but i just don't know how to be different- i'm not the sort of person who can just get up at a party and dance without being self-conscious.
i also think that people probably reckon i'm a snob, but i'm really not. im just too shy to talk to people i don't know. i hate eating in front of people, because i feel so self-conscious, as though everyone is watching me.

the reason that i'm not really sure that I have SA is that it doesn't sound anywhere near as awful as some people have described theirs as being. i have no problem with going to the supermarket or leaving the house. (i hope i don't offend anyone by saying that, and if i did i'm really sorry)

the other night i went to a friend's house to watch dvds, and there were four girls and three guys. the other girls had music on and they just got up and started dancing, while i'm sitting there like a complete idiot. they tried to make me dance with them but i couldn't. they knew i wouldn't anyway.

i know that i need to get help because i really, really dont want to end up being a 30 year old who is too shy to go out, and who never gets married or has kids because they are too shy to go out!
i think i've written too much now! thanks to whoever reads this Smile

love jem

silver · Posted: Tue July 10, 2007 Post subject:

Hello.

Sounds like me that. Never really knew how to label myself, never really thought this social anxiety thing fit... It's the talking thing. I really couldn't care less about complete strangers, people to whom I'm just a face in the crowd, and I can willingly dance like an idiot at a nightclub and embarass myself in public because I find it amusing. It's anything more personal than that that I find difficult. I seem to be relatively chatty sometimes and completely impossible to have a conversation with at others, and it feels beyond my control. When someone can't get through to you they dehumanize you and feel they have a right to be arbitrarily rude. That's upsetting, and drives you away from people.

That said, I've made some progress in the last year - been happy at least. Good luck anyway. I only started looking for help in my twenties.

Josh · Posted: Wed July 11, 2007 Post subject:

Welcome Jemma. I'm from Australia too (sydney).
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shoeb · Posted: Mon April 14, 2008 Post subject:

well shinyjem according to all of ur symptoms i am convinced u r suffering from SA.Feeling self-conscious,finding difficulty in eating in public places, feeling difficult to go to parties all match SA.One of the important steps i advice you to take is first get educated about this problem from internet.it will help u a lot.then i think u can slowly work towards it.