Social Anxiety Forums

rabbit88 · Terrified Newbie Joined: 13 Dec 2007 Posts: 1

Hey, I am a 18 year old guy and for the last few years I have become extremely distressed and anxious about my appearance. I gaze at myself in the mirror on a daily basis, wondering how anyone could be born so ugly. I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb, that people are staring at my ugliness from every angle. Some people close to me say that I am not ugly but I feel that they are only saying this not to make me feel bad. I stare at the mirror for minutes on end in a kind of trance which I hope will end with me coming to assurance that I am not ugly. But that never happens of course. To get though daily life I continuously say to myself “I am not ugly, I am not ugly”, just to try and make the best out of my life. But by saying this I think it shows I am in a state of denial, it shows that I am actually ugly but I am trying to sweep the fact under the carpet. Is this true? , am I ugly or am I actually decent looking? Please assist me, I am trying to finally gain a true and honest understanding of myself. True Understanding of my physical appearance is something I have never had in my life and finding the truth, whether it be good or bad, is central to me. Thanks.

Pics:

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/IMG_0027.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh061.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh058.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfh013.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh052.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh048.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh050.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh030.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh005.jpg
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/trrfggh05.jpg

Casca · Posted: Wed December 19, 2007 Post subject:

it sounds to me like you have body dysmorphic disorder (being extremely critical of your image). none of the photos worked so none of this response has anything to do with your image but it wouldn't matter anyway because there is no such thing as beautiful or ugly which is why you probably are so confused. i know its a cliche but beauty is in the eye of the beholder especially when it comes to men. most of the men i have found good looking are considered by many to be ugly and a lot of the standard hollywood hunks i find boring and ugly. so maybe you need to broaden your idea of what attractiveness means. it would also probably help to ask yourself why your image is so important to you. why do you need to lock yourself into a label as either an "ugly" or "decent" looking person. being attractive is not always something a mirror can reveal. keep in mind people aren't analyzing you as closely as you are. they are more likely responding to an impression of you that comes from your demeaner, expressions, behavior, personality. even a "beautiful" person looks ugly if they are always scowling. i am 31 years old and i can't go to a bar without getting carded which blows my mind because when i look in the mirror i can't imagine people don't know i'm older. people don't see details they only see the impression you give and everyone responds to that impression in a different way.

grasshopper · Anxious Poster Joined: 23 Dec 2007 Posts: 12

To get though daily life I continuously say to myself “I am not ugly, I am not ugly”, just to try and make the best out of my life. But by saying this I think it shows I am in a state of denial, it shows that I am actually ugly but I am trying to sweep the fact under the carpet. Is this true?

if you want my honest opinion, you're not a bad looking guy. Don't feel guilty about affirming yourself... there's nothing wrong with saying "I am not ugly", it's the truth. To a certain extent we all create our own realities, and when it comes down to it everyone is grotesque in their own way. You're in denial, but I think your denying your good looks when you should be affirming them. Do you live near a city? Maybe go to a hip hair salon and try a new look, you got nothing to lose right? Whenever I feel like I'm tired of myself or not confident about my look anymore I just go to a hair salon and tell them to do whatever they want. Or else I just shave my head... It's scary but fun and usually works out pretty good. Sometimes you gotta let go of who you were on the outside, give yourself a rebirth. nowaddah'mean? btw... imho, I don't think you have any disorder at all, you're fine, take control!

livingnsilence · Anxious Poster Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Posts: 19

You actually look a litle ho in the pic http://s226.photobucket.com/albums/dd122/smegs08/?action=view&current=trrfggh015.jpg ( none of the links really worked but I acidently clicked something and it took me to a couple of pics) but I don't like your hair (sorry). The othere pics you look okay but not really hot but then again I'm like one of the pickiest people on looks in the world until I get to know someone