Social Anxiety Forums

Delph · Posted: Mon March 24, 2008 Post subject: Why me?

i was going to write something about how i currently feel about my anxiety but i cant seem to collect my thoughts. its funny how the same thing happens to me in a real conversation. i want to say something but before anything comes out of my mouth i begin to think about the consequences of my words. So most of the time i say nothing, and if i do speak its very short incomplete sentences. Theres only a few people i can really talk to, joke with, and feel normal, but every new person i meet i become nervous, i shake, palms are cold and sweaty, and i feel like all eyes are on me and every movement i make someone is watching.

This semester my roommates have been having a lot of parties, and its making my anxiety much harder to deal with. i used to drink to loosen up and talk to people, and it worked. Now i become even more quite. I find my self going into my room earlier with ever party we have. i sometimes here people out in the living room talking about me, or i think they are. I here them saying that im a weird kid, and i look pissed off, and people never know what im thinking or doing. The one thing that really makes me upset is the nickname they gave me, zombie. i think that word fits me perfectly, but i dont want it to. They dont use zombie often and they dont mean anything offensive by it, its just a name.

I think ive reached the point of no return. i do start to talk and fit in people will start to say things like. "he talked" "look at the quite kid" and no one will take me seriously. i fear that in the future my anxiety might lead to major problems of isolation and being alone the rest of my life. I think my only option is to transfer to a differnt school and start over but that could also back fire and make things worse.

livingnsilence · Posted: Mon March 24, 2008 Post subject:

I'm pretty much in the same boat except I don't have a single person I can be myself arounds so be glad you at least have a few you can still do that with. My roomies don't through a whole lot of parties but when they do I'm too afraid to leave my room for anything and I think they are talking about me and saying I'm such a nerd or a loser b/c I'm in my room bymyself on a weekend night when a normal college student would be partying. I hate it when they have the parties and I can hear them having fun while I sit bored to death and lonely, it's really not good for my depression. The 2 times I have partied with my roomies got me the nick name drunk @$$ which I guess is better than zoombie? Yeah, I deffinitely have an alter ego when I get trashed that is pretty outgoing...the main people I party w/ have named my alter ego even.
I deffinitely transfering next year to a pharmacy school. In a way I want to leave and start over b/c I feel I've embarased myself at this school when I was drunk one to many times but then again the school I might be going to has a lot of people that went to high school with, which I feel even more uncomfortable with and it's a bigger school so it will be harder for me to find new aquaintances.

Angie · Posted: Tue March 25, 2008 Post subject:

I hate it when people make comments like that! In high school it annoyed me to no end. Well, back then it really hurt me. I kind of just shrug it off now.

I don't think you should give up, and switch schools. You'll regret it. When I dropped out of high school to join an online school it was the biggest mistake thus far in my life. I missed out on so much. It might seem like the only option you have right now, but it's not.

I think talking to a school counselor would be a big help. Really, confiding in a close friend is the best because they know you so well therefore you probably spend a lot of time with them. They can be a protective shield of sorts. If you're uncomfortable in a certain situation, then your friend will know and help you out.

Obviously sharing how you're feeling is tough. You really have to put your trust in someone. That's where I ran into my problem. I bottled everything up for so long that it took me years to finally confide in someone. I ended up talking to my school counselor first. It was my first big step into making my life better. I didn't know it at the time, but it was.

I hope I didn't bore you with all of my rambling. Smile

And I hope that some of it helps you. Take care!

Bravetailor · Posted: Wed March 26, 2008 Post subject:

I don't mind being called a "nerd" or even a little "weird" but the problem is when I let a few too many things bother me.

I used to didn't care, but as I've gotten older, I've found that first impressions are much more important that when I was young, and I basically...choke under pressure.

I still don't care what someone I will never meet again thinks of me (i.e. man or woman on street), but I care what relatives, aunts/uncles, and people I will be working with/seeing think of me. It's difficult to get past the first meeting, and so quite often I avoid them altogether.

chloe · Posted: Tue April 08, 2008 Post subject:

well in a way it was better for u lot coz uve always been like that! i was the popular girl at school then towards the end sa hit me all of a sudden, i have no idea why!

no i am afraid of everything and i beat myself uo about it because of the way i used to be. sad i know but alcohol is my remedy. i hate it but it works! im also thinkin about hypnosis. x