Social Anxiety Forums

freakamidget · Calm Regular Reputation: +2 Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 86

It has come to my conclusion that I don't think I will be the real me around other people. The real me is someone talkative and spazzy and I'm like that around my close family and people that have known me for a long time, but around anyone else I'm fully inside my shell and won't ever come out. On Saturday I went to a fan meet-up for UK fans of Tokio Hotel, and most people there were my age and some of them I had spoken to on MSN before I didnt really go to meet up with them. I went as a test for my social anxiety, before I went I was thinking up conversations I could start, and things I could do to bring out the real me, but it didnt work. I'm just the sort of person that will sit and listen to their conversations and laugh at the right moments. I don't think I've ever lead a conversation succesful before, but these people could so easily, I wished so badly that I knew how. And ever since that day I havn't once posted on the TH forum.

I've done so many things to bring out the real me. Such as that incident I just said, and about a month ago I had my drama exam which I was totally killing myself over, but I havn't really gained much confidence from that. And something which worries me is that I'm starting college in September and I want to start afresh start and make proper friends who know the real me, not the social anxiety me. And I don't know how that will happen, I've done so much to fight this demon but it just wont go away. If anyone has any advice or something I would really appreciate it :/

Bobby · Calm Regular Reputation: 0 Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 57

Are you like that with everyone? With me, I am shy around some people but not others. Generally I am quiet around people who have high social status, but I am able to be myself around geeky/nerdy people.

It's good that you actually went to the fan-meetup. It's progress, even though you didn't talk. It takes courage to meet up with people you've never met before.

freakamidget · Calm Regular Reputation: +2 Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 86

I'm like that with nearly everyone. I'm only not with close family or people I have known for a long time. It takes about 7years for me to officialy to come out of my shell with someone. Why cant it be 7minutes? Or 7seconds??

Josh · Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 Post subject:

So you do drama. Doesn't that take a lot of courage to do since you have to act in front of many people?
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freakamidget · Calm Regular Reputation: +2 Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 86

Yes it did take a lot of courage. A WHOLE lot. I was completely beating myself up over it the weeks and months building up to the exam. I only chose drama for GCSE thinking it would stomp out my anxiety. It kind of made it worse :/

bluebell · Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 Post subject:

As long as you are determined to do ,there is a key just existing for this lock.Do you believe this theme : you fail even after trying so many methods just because there is still a certain cause for this .Everything has the root .

If you can't come out of this wired circle ,the direct reason is you hasn’t find the right method for you .From what you said above ,I guess you are still keeping yourself at the status quo .Do you agree that you havn’t perseived there is still some reasons causing your repeated failures ?

Everyone has the blind spot in the net of thoughts .The most miserable thing is it is possible that you are not able to recognise this kind of blind spot in your life.Since this spot is blind , definitely we need to be guided by whoever has the idea which can hit the nail on the head .And in fact ,it is proved that you are restricted in a cell just by those bothersome trouble caused by blind spots.maybe you can tell me your feelings about this .
We reap what we sow,you know ,a person who is bent on changing his situation is so powerful that he will find the right way .The most important necessity is a right direction to start off.

hugs Smile

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Blue · Posted: Fri June 20, 2008 Post subject:

I feel uncomfortable even around family members and im really shy around girls ive been with a few in the past but cant seem to hold onto them im only young 22 but i cant keep saying that forever

Bravetailor · Posted: Thu June 26, 2008 Post subject:

Being comfortable around family and not with strangers is actually a fairly normal thing with many people. We just aren't used to acting and handling it as well as most.

I think it's good to be cautious around strangers because basically it's your emotional defence mechanism looking out for you. The only problem is when your defence mechanism is blocking out EVERYTHING. Think of a spam-block machine that blocks out e-mails from people you know as well. That's when you have to modulate your spam block.

loner · Posted: Sat July 05, 2008 Post subject:

i've been wondering also, whether its possible for me to become talkative. it'd be very convenient at times, although most of the time i'm happy with being quiet. just times when i'm thrown together with people, its very very uncomfortable not to be able to be spontaneous like most of the others are.