Social Anxiety Forums

bluebell · Posted: Thu February 21, 2008 Post subject: Life is test

“Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real life you would have been instructed where to go and what to do.” Whenever I think of this humorous bit of wisdom, it reminds me to not take my life so seriously.
When you look at life and its many challenges as a test, or series of tests, you begin to see each issue you face as an opportunity to grow, a chance to discover more about life. Whether you're being bombarded with problems,responsibilities,even insurmountable hurdles, when looked at as a test, you always have a chance to succeed, in the sense of rising above that which is challenging you. If, on the other hand, you see each new issue you face as a serious battle that must be won in order to survive, you're probably in for a very rocky journey. The only time you're likely to be happy is when everything is working out just right. And we all know how often that happens.
As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with. Perhaps you have much pressure from your parents or you have a demanding boss. See if you can redefine the issue you face from being a “ problem” to being a test. Rather than struggling with your issue, see if there is something you can learn from it. Ask yourself, “ Why is this an issue in my life? What would it mean and what would be involved to rise above it? Could I possibly look at this issue any differently? Can I see it as a test of some kind?”
If you give this strategy a try you may be surprised at your changed responses.
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bluebell · Posted: Wed March 12, 2008 Post subject: The key to recover from social phobia

The key to recover from social phobia: Everything cannot be eliminated.

Social phobia is a normal OCD. The symptoms are: uneasy, strabismus, shyness, blush, spatial phobia, stutter, obsessive, anxiety, dread, psychogenic insomnia, suspect, eating disorders, concept and behavior, etc. These all cannot be eliminated. When you start to understand these and start to adapt; when you really accept it from your heart and don't repulse them, they will gone after a long period. Why is that so?

Buddhism said, “worry equals contradiction”. Taoism gave us an example: a crock of pure water is very perfect, but it is poison. Fish and shrimp cannot live in this kind of water. It is a crock of backwater. Now we throw some rubbish and dirt inside. The water is no more perfect. It become turbid and looks bad, but there are alimentation in it. Fish and shrimp can live in it! It is a crock of water with life. Therefore, not perfect is the real perfect.

The symptoms of neurosis are also the same! uneasy, strabismus, shyness, blush, spatial phobia, stutter, obsessive, anxiety, dread, psychogenic insomnia, suspect, eating disorders, concept and behavior, etc. these are also rubbish and dirt. They let us feel the water is turbid and not perfect. Actually they are very normal. We always drive it to be more and more serious. They cannot be eliminated in themselves. If we really eliminate them, we will become abnormal. Normal people are the same as that corck of turbid water. They all have the same symptoms as us, but they never care about them. They never drive them to be more serious.

We are always so sensitive when they appear. Please recall the first time that the symptoms appeared. They are so normal at that time. Everybody have the same problem, but others just didn't care about them . We are so different and sensitive. We felt inferioity or wanted to be perfect. We were so careful or the environment made us think too much. We never let them go and think they are abnormal. We want to obliterate and eliminate them. Of course, we fail to do that. This is the original resource and essence of conflict and fight. So we always worried about it. After we repulsed it again and again, we became more and more sensitive and pay more attention on it. The exciting point and impression in our brain became more and more pertinacious. Many years later, as normal people has forgot this, the exciting point in his brain decreased. However, we are still driving and pushing them. We cause them become a very pertinacious exciting point such as addiction. Please don't forget, brainwork waste more enegy than physical labor. People’s spirit can transform power. The wasted power was not disappeared for no reason. They all transform to the exciting points, and became the energy resources to support those exciting points not eliminate. The essence of the world is exercise. If we never keep on giving this exciting points energy, the homeostaticexciting points have disappeared long long ago. Therefore, the mean reason of those exciting points are still there is because of ourselves. As the enough strong exciting points formed, they will come to affect our behaviors because psychology effect physiology. It formed a vicious circle. This kind of very normal phenomenon was enlarged by us by the above reason. We call it magnifier principle, i.e. the core of these symptoms normal, but we enlarged them by using magnifier phenomenon. This is very similar to buddhism said: actual dream.

Therefore, we were wrong from the start. Lao zi said: the further you go will let you understand the lesser you know. It can be used for us to explain this phenomenon. Everything is empty. Actually, the thing we want to eliminate is normal. We try to eliminate it, so we use a lot of energy and unlimited enlarge it until a abnormal range. This is “ there is no trouble in the world, but people always worry about troubles of their own imagining.” To use the philosophical language is: problems exist because of the solutions. We can also use it as: all the neurosis exist because there is “treatment”. The essence of worry is consciousness. I think that is why diamond sutra said: there is no way to become buddha. All the troubles are caused by your pertinacity. If there is no troubles in your heart, you will not feel any troubles. Since they are normal, why must you eliminate them? Buddha said: if you want to be buddha, you will not be buddha. If you don't want to be buddha, you may become buddha. This is what taoism said: As you do everything, you may doing nothing. As you do nothing, you may doing everything.

Everthing is very clear now. all the symptoms are very normal. Why do We have to be awakened up after wasting so many years?Nothing can be eliminated. There is no way to choose. Don't try to repulse it because this is the reason why it cannot be eliminated. After you understand all this and start to used to it; accept it from your heart; and not repulse it, it will go away one day. When you understand, your neurosis is nearly recover.

Since everything is normal, we don't need to eliminate them. The reason caused by ourselves. That is what Mr. Morita told us “follow the natural, do the things should be done”.