Social Anxiety Forums

Bravetailor · SAF Squire Reputation: +1 Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 36

We're basically getting free pass to say what we want politically and socially and religiously? You'd think this should get the people hopping up and down.

Well, if we're going to rant about something, I have to say:

A lot of SA people I've come across on the Net tend to spend more time moaning and asking for sympathy rather than starting up topics that are meaningful conversation starters. Heh. I suppose that's why some people have so much trouble socially, they spend all their time worrying about how miserable they are that they don't learn how to talk to other people, let alone pay attention to them. Of course when you try to cheer them up, they ignore you. Misery loves company; they're basically asking for you to be miserable with them, which, in isolated situations is fine. But when 50 people in one forum start doing it, it gets annoying.

And doesn't anyone get tired of the repetition in topic choices? It's always, "I can't get a girl." or "I have no hope to ever be in a relationship," or "I have no friends." OVER and OVER and OVER again, often by the same people every day. When you X that by 50, you basically get 50 x number of topics every day = repetition to the max. It would be nice if one guy started a topic and then everyone kept their same complaints in there, but noooo. They need their own personal attention too. On one hand they're afraid of attention, but on the other they desperately crave it. The funny thing is they don't even see the contradiction themselves.

And what is it about SA and having a girlfriend/boyfriend? Certainly, SA is a barrier as I can definitely attest to but there's an unhealthy obsession with getting "the girl" or "guy". Honestly, I don't even think many of these people are interested in getting to know someone, they just want a trophy or prize or someone who can sit there and cater to their emotional whims. I'm not sure if SA people understand that a relationship is a two way street--I almost never hear someone with SA talk about completing someone else, it's always what the other person can do for THEM.

There's more, but I think I just wanted to rant about the inherent selfishness of many people with SA. What shocks me is hearing it coming from people who are over 30--you'd think even those people would have shown some evidence of maturity by now, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised if a lot of them still talk like 15 year olds.

Having had bouts of SA I can definitely sympathize with the barriers we have to face, but I can't empathize with people who constantly need a sympathy pat or spend more time focusing on the world as it revolves around them than trying to contribute something for other people in the world. Actually, I'm not even sure it's necessarily a good idea to "internet hug" someone who's whining day after day about how their lives suck--it just encourages more attention getting from them.

Yet so many people choose to meaninglessly "hug" other posters, rather than suggesting ways to help the complainer solve or deal with his or her problem. Of course when you suggest some solutions or talk about it, they'll lash back at you and say they didn't ask to be "preached to". And I want to say to them, "People who take the time to think over your problem and help you try to deal with it or solve it are putting much more effort and consideration into their post than people who go like this

all the time."

I mean, definitely, a hug every now and again is nice, but ultimately, I don't think it's very good for the original poster.

Bravetailor · SAF Squire Reputation: +1 Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 36

...And that's it for me on that "other" big SA forum on the 'net. I didn't get kicked off, I'm just quitting it voluntarily.

It's just a different world for me there. I guess it's because I still have one foot in the "common" world that I just can't relate to the funereal atmosphere, and the whining and brittleness of some people.

On non-SA forums, I can talk to people about sex and crack "low" humour without a fuss. When someone says they had a great day, I can say "So, you got laid!" (smileysmileysmiley) and have it taken totally lightheartedly. On THAT SA forum, I was accused of being classless and shallow by the original poster. Um, what? It wasn't even an insult. If you didn't think it was funny, that's totally fine by me, but there's no need to resort to a personal shot at me. Confused

It would be funny if that guy stumbled into this forum. Still, I stand by what I say. I haven't said anything to insult him personally, so I guess I just want to say some people need to chillax.

I felt like Homer Simpson in that episode where he went back to college. He finds humour when the Prof drops his pencil, but nobody else in the room does. Laughing