Social Anxiety Forums

Lis · Anonymous

I am just learning about Social Phobia, but does anyone know if the cause can be a traumatic life event? I think I can trace the start of SP back to elementary school. I was in the gifted program and also skipped 1st grade, so I was always the youngest in my class, but was mature for my age. Unfortunately, I also developed breasts very early (5th grade I think, but I should have been in 4th!) and grew to be the tallest since I bloomed early. Every passed me up later, but I hated feeling so big and different since I was the first to hit puberty. Then I also got a lot of unwanted attention from creepy MUCH older guys when I was out with my mom. It really scared me and I hated the attention. I didn't ever speak up in class to avoid the attention. When I was called on, I would turn bright red..it was so embarassing! Even in college I never once spoke up, I hated the idea of the class turning to look at me if I spoke up.

Is it possible that my developing early CAUSED the Social Phobia? Any insight is much appreciated. Thank you

Jess · Anonymous

Well what do you think happened when you were teased about your breast size and your height? How did you feel when other kids put focus on these things? You probably felt like a spotlight was on you.

Maybe because of the growth spurt the other students got curious and maybe even envious. Kids will tease anything that is out of the ordinary. There's nothing wrong you with you, you just have genes that you've inherited that you've expressed.

This type of FOCUS on you, of course brings these features to your attention and you focus on them as well. What two choices you had/have is this:

see your body in a positive perspective and accept that that is your genes and body and embrace your features, make peace with them, LIKE them, cherish them. It's YOUR BIOLOGY.

or

think about them negatively (which in turn causes you to feel nervous because you've attached a negative label and feeling to those features, and so you have those negative feelings in your head while you're talking to people and wondering if they're thinking about those features..etc.

If you learn to embrace and accept those features, your focus on them will dwindle and you will be able to focus on the moment and you won't care what people think about you, trust me.

but to answer your question, i definitely think your social anxiety stems from the events you listed. you are the best judge of what you think it is, you know yourself and you know your past.

Take care

Jess Very Happy